The craft at St Paul's

FREEMASONRY has always struck me as less sinister than hilarious. It is sexist, and this simply can not be tolerated in the modern age. Sexism distresses-all rightthinking readers just as it does me (sniffle). The mirthless (or just plain bored) Duke of Kent is a boss man in the Lodge.
Which only reinforces my opinion of the apronwearing ritualists with their funny handshakes, weird punishments and trouser legs rolled in the manner of T S Eliot's poem. They even have their own book, written in a kind of cod Authorized Version (a member has risked his wellbeing by showing me a samizdat copy). However, these are ecumenical times: if you are strolling past St Paul's Cathedral from June 26 to July 2 take in the Freemasonry in the Community Week.
Presiding will be Dr John Moses, Dean of St Paul's, who played a blink-andhe's-gone but nonetheless invaluable role in Her Majesty's Jubilee celebrations. Be there, or be square, with triangles or compasses just in case.
BEFORE I TURN 10 more important matters, Derby, Oaks. (rider: Catholic Lanfranco Dettori), World Cup, stay with me for this: a Mr Philip Pullman, Herald reader and author was irked to spot a vigorous critique of his children's books, in this newspaper's literary section. Sarah Johnson's review may have included a hint of irony that Mr Pullman missed in an overhasty first reading. Let's face facts: as a reviewer (for The Guardian) himself Mr P must know (i) about overhasty reading and (ii) that when it comes to reviews the pudding that contains too many eggs has yet to be created. For evidence of the latter just take a look at the quotes (excuse my English) on the back of any softcover bestseller The Herald is founded upon caritas, so naturally our saintly editor gladly acceded to Mr Pullman's offer of a right to reply. It was expected for a February issue. Consignia the new and improved Royal Mail has had some teething difficulties over the question of whether to deliver a person's mail each morning. But the Herald has yet to hear a peep out of Pullman, and it is left to others (Christopher Hitchens was my source) to disseminate the news that Mr P is irritated. Writers can be so temperamental: Philip, my friend, why not reply? Regrettably, calls to his publisher Random House were met with a doleful "Everybody seems to have disappeared" from a young lady fresh back from maternity leave.
But then it was lunchtime last Friday: England v.
Argentina. I suppose our boys did beat the Argies for the first time since 1966.
DR Tom SrtrrrAForto has devised a peg for his report that the Holy Father is receiving a new treatment for Parkinsons' syndrome: a medicine called apomorphine.
Specialists claim the drug provides bursts of movement in sufferers. The hook was that apomorphine by injection or pump can cause white clothing to turn green.
Dr S neglected to mention that staining would be localized to the injection site, covered by a BandAid, and any likelihood of the Pope's white cassock turning green is best left to the imagination of the late Frank Wizard of Oz, L. Baum.
BISHOP OF THE WEEK: Mgr
George Stack (humbly lodged beneath this paper's offices at St Joseph's) for a cheeky bottle of House of Lords champagne, brought home from I know not where, but Herald toilers on Jubilee Tuesday (with whom he shared the same after returning from the National Service at St Paul's) were duly grateful.