Parents of Religious

Sir,—As the father of a nun, may I congratulate "Catholic Parents" on their letter, which may well reflect the opinion of countless parents whose Catholic homes have facilitated their daughters' vocations only to find these same homes subsequently banned—presumably as sources of possible distraction or defection.
With vocations steadily decreasing, the various communities in their own interests, should promote the goodwill of parents by reducing the severity of the total break with the home — still the rule in many cases.
Another Catholic Parent
Almondsbury, Nr. Bristol.
Sir,—Speaking mainly for girls, we know there are Orders who consult and welcome the opinion of parents, and that parents should visit and correspond with their daughters and that their daughters should visit them. Surely it is against charity for an Order to consider that a home that has given a daughter to Christ is not a fit place for them to visit.
We, the Vocation Sisters, contact hundreds of girls each year and are in touch with all Orders and know, therefore, of this changing attitude. Our own Sisters, who travel a great deal, visit their homes when their vocation tours take them near their home areas.
We feel also that any necessary or possible help must be extended to parents in their old age or need. I hope the "Catholic Parents" will be a little consoled.
Mary Joseph
Superior General, Market Harborough.
Sir,—While having every .sympathy for the evident anguish behind the letter from "Catholic Parents" (Sept. 23), I feel that much of it springs from a fundamental misunderstanding of ultimate nature of "religious life". First let us get this clear. Religious life is a "total dedication" to God in Christ.
Our Lord Himself laid down what he wanted. And He made it clear that He wanted a total renunciation — including the "leaving" of parents and home. But I know of no religious Institute that does not try to incucate in every way a real love and tenderness for the parents of its members. When I was a novice I was bound by rule to write to my parents each week : something that the Services, for instance, do not bother about!
There are literally hundreds of nuances and degrees of that "total dedication" in the rich varieties of Orders and Institutes in the Church. Surely, if there is to be any "consultation" and "sharing of deliberation" with parents, it should be between the potential novice and them before going into the novitiate.
But it is the child's life, and parents should respect its final choice—even though this may mean a degree of separation they themselves dislike. It is not just a case of an Institute protecting a "vocation" by shielding the members from his or her parents—it is more the superior's interpretation of the very nature of the vocation in that Institute. For instance, "enclosed Institutes".
And if we are going to make a big issue and criterion of visiting and sleeping in the home of the family there are plenty of Institutes that not only allow their members to do this visiting but even encourage and insist on it. I have recently directed retreats in two Institutes (and not so "modern", either).
In one I found a number of the younger Sisters were all "going home" for a week or two as part of their holidays this year and in the other the Institute had just completed building a special "old people's home"—a block of flatlets and bed sitters to house the ageing and lonely parents of some of its members in their declining years and where they could be looked after by some of the sisters. This latter work is being taken up by a number of Institutes, I understand.
Guy Brinkworth, SJ.
London, N.W.3.
Sir,—I was pleased to see your note to the letter from "Catholic Parents" (CATHOLIC HERALD Sept. 23), because my experience as a parent of a Xaverian brother has been happier.
This congregation allows its professed members occasionally to spend some time at home and within reason parents can visit their sons at the novitiate. We have a small organisation one of whose purposes is to keep parents in close touch with the authorities of the congregation so that they feel part of the Xaverian family and not something separate from it. Every effort, in fact, is made to remove unnecessary obstacles from the path of those who aspire to this form of the religious life.
W. Lennon,
Chairman Friends of Xaverians, Manchester.
Liverpool
Sir,—Eileen O'Leary (Sept. 23) hopes that "the grandiose plans for the opening ceremonies of Liverpool Cathedral be scaled down and that the money saved "will find its way to those who are hungry and without shelter." In this particular case I disagree with her.
Whilst we, as Christians, are bound to assist less fortunate peoples in various parts of the world by giving practical aid, the Church has also the obligation of proclaiming her message to all mankind. Even today the Catholic faith is practically unknown to millions of our fellow countrymen, the majority of whom form a nonchurchgoing population.
But the opening ceremonies provides a rare and golden opportunity for bringing the Church in England to public not ice.
Peter Tate
Heathfield, Sussex.