My daughter will not have her baby baptised. Would it

be OK for me to baptise the baby quietly at home?
It can be quite heartbreaking for Catholic parents when their children no longer practise the faith in which they were conscientiously brought up. If they also fail to have their children baptised, the distress can be even greater. Many grandparents are tempted to baptise the baby quietly in the kitchen when nobody is looking.
Anyone can baptise a baby validly by pouring water on the head of the baby and saying: "N I baptise you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." Even a non-Christtan can do this. If a child in hospital is in danger of death and a member of staff knows that the parents would want the child to be baptised, it would be a great kindness for them to do so.
Apart from danger of death, however, a baby should not be baptised without the consent of at least one of the parents. (canon 868). There are two reasons for this. First, there must be a well-founded hope that the child will be given a Catholic upbringing. If both parents are opposed to baptism, it is unlikely that this Catholic upbringing could be secured. Second, the parents have a natural authority in their own family which may not be usurped. This principle was clarified when such abuses as the forcible baptism of Jewish children were condemned by the Church. However tempting it may be, grandparents, aunts, uncles and well-meaning friends should resist the temptation (unless the child is in danger of death) and be obedient to the wise law of the Church.
Having said that, I know as a parish priest that sometimes grandparents do baptise children without permission. Although it is wrong to do so, the baptism is nevertheless valid and should be recorded in the parish's baptism register. A grandparent who has done this should inform the parish priest of the child's name, parents' names, date of birth and the date and place of the baptism — and not do it again!
What's your view? And do you have a dilemma of your own? Write to us at the address on this page or e-mail editorial@ catholicherald.co.uk