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The uniqueness that is woman
Mrs V Reeves-liaeyen discusses the role of women in the Church, with particular reference to widowhood
IN THE LARI.Y Church widows were singled out as a special group, in fact as early as the first century. They are mentioned in Timothy 5, 3-16 and in Acts 6, 1. In the fourth century, the letters of St John Chrysostome to Olympias give a blimpse of the wonderful friendship of the shepherd and the young widow who had been entrusted with some important affairs of his Church.
In fourteenth century Siena, most of the Mantelate were widows.
Sr Marguerite Bourgeois in Canada and Sr Jeanne de Chantal in France used their gifts and talents to answer the needs of their time and founded a new religious family.
What about the widows of today at the end of this twentieth century; in a world where so many of the old ways and values have either vanished or are threatened, and challenging new ideas, values and way of life emerge amid hope and fear, hope of a better and fairer society, and the looming horror of nuclear annihilation?
The old Flemish saying, the woman builds the house or demolishes it to dust, is as true today as it was centuries ago.
Women are born for life, service, love. Because of their more instinctive approach to problems and their natural inclination to a more contemplative life (like Mary, they keep many things in their heart), their quiet courage, endurance, patience, compassion in everyday life, women's contribution to family and society is irreplaceable.
The married woman know the joys and trials of Wife and mother. Life teaches them many things not found in books or courses. And through happiness and sorrows they mature and blossom.
Many also have a profession or job outside the home.
A woman can lose her husband, yet, after stunned numbness and grief, bewilderment and loneliness, slowly emerge once again inriched if willing to look forward and trust the Lord.
Widows don't lose all the riches lavished on them by Him in previous years. In their unexpected solitude, they are in a privileged situation to hear the Lord's call.
Some answer it by a renewed dedication in their profession or job seen more as a service — this may be in industry, research, etc.
For a few widows the answer is found in a cloister or in an active religious community. Many have children and grandchildren who they see as still very much entrusted to them by the Lord, a responsibility they cannot evade even if they wanted to.
They feel that they will never fit in a religious community, a well ordered way of life with a fixed timetable for prayer.
Also the children must still have a place to come home to a mother and open their heart and lick their wounds, a home where grandmother can tell all the beautiful stories of the people of God and make them so real as well as cook some favourite dishes, a home where mother or grandmother has all the time in the world to listen and be a wonderful friend, a home open to those in need of help. Could a kind of Beguinagc be an answer? A very loose community life in fraternity, with some sharing but where each has a little house and the independence to lead one's own life for the Lord with all the riches he has lavished and let family and local community not least parish and Church — share and enjoy them.
Our Lady, whose role has been, and still is, unique, gives a clue as to how widows can live their royal priesthood as Christians, women and widows.
Have other widows thought out their role in the Church? 1 would be interested to know their ideas and whether some have found or succeeded in forming a group or some kind of fraternity or community. I can be contacted at 30 Oldfield Road, Bath BA2 3NF.