Tv0 MAGPIES SAILED in the other day. They rather reminded me of people. They arrived in the hazel tree with a great clatter and fuss, immediately driving out the smaller birds who had been quietly hopping about minding their own business.
The magpies would not have surprised me if they had brought a large amount of luggage, dropped it off at the gate and screeched for somebody to carry it, it once, to their room no, their suite.
They are insistent on the best possible accommodation and do not care what inconvenience they cause to anyone else.
They instantly went on a tour of the locality to see what amenities it held, making noisy, insulting remarks as they clearly found everything inadequate, and talking at the tops of their voices, obviously in the belief that if they spoke magpie loudly enough the inhabitants would understand what they were saying and fly to cater to their every need.
As evening drew on they grew more urgent in their search for entertainment, perhaps seeking the vibrant night-life they had been led to expect by some brochure,and they demanded entry into the house.
One of them or maybe both it's hard to tell since they dress alike, Mr and Mrs, each as bad as the other, flung themselves at the windows shouting for their rights. It is possible of course that it was the male magpie who was battering at the panes, while his wife sat on her branch, busily yelling instructions. "Maurice," she'd be saying, (or whatever his name is),"I can see her in there.
"Don't let her pretend she hasn't seen you. Who does she think she is? Make her let you in.
"It looks a bit more comfortable in there than up this damn tree. Don't let her get away with it Maurice." They are most unlovable characters, all dressed up to kill in their fancy feathers, strutting about giving orders.
In the mornings they behave like another sort of people. They do dawn raids, hoping to catch you unawares as you sleep and conduct a search of your property.
Suspecting some such plot on their part I had half closed the bedroom window, but sure enough, at some ungodly hour, there they were, trying to pry their way in. Horrid, officious, uninformed creatures. Is not an Englishwoman's home her castle? Not in the eyes of the magpies it isn't.
We have wasps too, living in the outer walls, but for some reason I don't so much mind this intrusion.
So far they haven't bothered us, busying themselves in some waspish way and merely flying in and out of a particular crevice in an oddly hypnotic fashion. I can see that if they got toe powerful there might be a conflict of interest, but at present we rub along quite amicably.
They don't seem to have the same ego problem as the magpies, being content to live their own lives and not impose themselves on others. The spiders also make quite good neighbours, unless you're one of those people who have to leave home if they find one in the bath.
On the whole they stay in their gossamer tented corners and catch Met a worthy social activity since no one. man or beast, enjoys sharing accommodation with a fly.
Then there are the ghosts. They toc arc unobtrusive.
I often think it's very nice of them tc put up with us and not go round clanking and groaning.
We do get the occasional clank but nothing to alarm anyone but the most delicate. It may be that they hardl3 know we're here, regarding is as mere transient visitors. t