CATHOLIC DILEMMAS I have a friend who is interested in

a woman who was married in a civil ceremony and is convinced he can pursue her without moral difficulties because she is not married in the eyes of the Church. I am not so convinced!
You are quite right to be concerned. First of all, she may in fact be married in the eyes of the Church. It is true that if Catholics marry without the canonical form of marriage being used, and without a dispensation from canonical form, the marriage will be invalid through a defect of form. But the Church would normally accept the civil marriage of a non-Catholic as valid.
Secondly, even if the woman is Catholic and her marriage is canonically invalid, it would be wholly reprehensible to seek to break up the civil union by initiating a relationship with her. The proper thing for any good Catholic to do would be to inform her tactfully of the situation so that she can arrange with her parish priest for the marriage vows to be exchanged anew in the canonical form so that her marriage is “convalidated”. If her husband does not agree to this, the marriage can be validated by a decree of the local bishop.
If the woman has separated from her husband and there is no reasonable hope of reconciliation, and if she is Catholic and her civil marriage is invalid through defect of form, she should ask her parish priest to submit the case to the diocesan tribunal so that a decree of nullity can be issued. In other cases, there may be different grounds for a petition for the nullity of marriage but the investigation of such a petition could take some time.
In order to act as a decent man, never mind as a good Catholic, your friend should be quite certain that he is not breaking up an existing union, and then certain that the woman is free to marry, before engaging in any kind of relationship that would give her grounds to expect that he can offer a permanent commitment to her.
What’s your view? And do you have a dilemma of your own? Write to us at the address on this page or e-mail [email protected]