A former editor who was

wrong about the Pope
Charterhouse Chronicle
Quentin de la BOdoyere
Ihave already told the story of my daughter, when aged four, asking "Who is Peter God" when coming out of Mass. Not unreasonable since we had all just said "Thanks be to God". But asking around among my friends I have found many other examples of infant liturgical misunderstanding. What would you makes of "Lead us not into Thames Station" or "0 Sacred Heart, we put our crust in thee"?
The source of some others takes a second or two to find. "In the presence of our Emily Carter" comes from the wedding service (heavenly father). "Granddad and me shall..." started life as "Grant that we shall). But "Our father Wishart in Heaven" is easier to trace.
I have always presumed that "Shepherds wash their socks by night" was a bit of deliberate youthful fun. And "The piece of cod that passeth all understanding" has been variously attributed to Nigel Moleswdrth, Mr Chips and Sir Edwin Lutyens. Do let me know of any others you have encountered. For many years I thought that "due course" was the elusive month in which I would get all the things 1 had asked for, and that all buses went to "Animal Fairs" since that was what the conductor said to everybody.
Many will have heard Cardinal Rodriguez of Honduras interviewed briefly on the Today programme. Fewer will have heard the extended interview he gave to Han/talk on BBC World television. Given that he is tipped as a strong possibility for the Papacy one day, he is worth watching. He came across to me as an impressive person; I would call him charismatic if that adjective had not been cheapened by overuse.
He made substantial points about the need for the rich countries to assist developing countries, mentioning issues like tariff harriers and the crippling rates of interest on loans which make them a burden rather than an assistance. When he was asked why the Vatican did not sell its treasures to help the developing countries he responded by asking the interviewer whether he would be prepared to sell the equally valuable treasures in the British Museum. Pressed harder about Vatican expenditure he pointed out that the Vatican annual budget was less than that of a single diocese in Germany. At that point, wisely I thought, the interviewer changed the subject. The Cardinal is no mental slouch.
He was equally quick on his feet on the Today programme when the interviewer asked, in the context of Aids: "There are no circumstances, whatever the risks, of somebody in a happy marriage, where you would say, use a condom?" His answer: "Well you know that specially those kinds of things depends on the conscience of everyone. And I am not authorised to do that. What I can do is to advise people but the decisions are taken by every person." Straight from the shoulder. He might make a good pope. Not
that this newspaper is always right about papal matters. Its most famous editor (1934 to 1962) hailed 77-year-old John XXIII as a stop-gap pope.
perhaps the good Cardinal started his philosophy training young. I have had an interesting time discussing philosophy with my 12-year -old granddaughter. And it's not easy. Here's an example for you to chew over during this weekend.
"The Master said; 'I will give you untold riches if you will perform a simple task.'
"I said 'Tell me what I have to do.'
"The Master said: 'Today you must walk across this stream. It is cold but it is not deep. And tomorrow you must walk across the same stream again. That is all you have to do.'
"So I walked across the stream that day. The next day I walked across it again. Then I said to the Master: 'I have crossed the same stream twice as you asked. Now give me untold riches.'
"And the Master said: `No, you have not done what 1 asked. The second time, it was not the same stream as the day before.' "But I argued 'Yes, it was. There it is in front of us. I can cross it again if you like.'
"The Master said 'The stream is running water. The water of the stream today is different from yesterday, and already different from the stream you crossed a minute or two ago. Everything changes. Even you have changed. You have new thoughts from yesterday and new memories.
"'Thousands of cells in your body have died and been replaced by new cells. You of today are not the same as the you of yesterday, nor is the stream.'
"So I went away, poorer in my pocket, but richer in my mind."
Abigail said that tackling that nearly burst her brain. See how you make out. If you sort it out easily you haven't grasped the problem.
Most people know the vulgar phrase "talking through your backside". (Non-vulgarians, stop reading here.) But apparently this is just what herring do. The Times recently reported a study from the University of British Columbia into the high pitched sounds accompanied by synchronised
little bubbles that followed the fish. It turns out that this has nothing to do with fishy indigestion but is the way they communicate when they are together in large numbers. This phenomenon was immediately given the name Fast Repetitive Ticks. (Work it out.) A Scottish scientist confirmed that when she listened with an ear to tanks filled with herring she could hear them chatting away. Whether she understood the messages is another matter. Science is wonderful, quentin@ blueyondereo.uk