Crabby cabbie's famous grouse

I WAS about to begin with "My minicab driver" when 1 realised he wasn't my minicab driver at all but the minicab driver who happened to be driving me from one part of London to another. I imagine one of the great luxuries in life is to have your very own driver; and, at the prices we're paying now for minicabs, I suppose I could have said "My driver", except I'm sure you'd have supplied peak cap and gloves in your imagination. So, in the interest of accuracy, I'll settle for . . . my minicab driver, who, full of goodwill, seasonal and otherwise, resumed a conversation of many another tt ip. The Irish.
Ron, of curled moustache and clipped voice, because he's somewhat deaf, tends to project his voice four paces past your car. "The Irish blokes I served with were a cheerful lot. Must be great fun living over there. Wot's the name of that chap who sits on the stool. Makes me laugh, he does?"
"Dave Allen".
"That's the feller. I imagine they're all like that over there. I hey were like that in my outfit too."
I could see half the British Army sitting around on bar stools, when Ron cut me down to size, with what was intended to be a compliment.
"Tell you what.. I'd rather deal with an Irish drunk any day than a Scots one!"
Long pause.
"Don't much care for that feller who sings. Wot's his name? About six foot two. Irish, of course."
Several clues later, it turned out he was talking about Val Doonican, to whose defence 1 naturally went.
"Can't stand that other fellow either. You know. Tells jokes and sings a bit."
Feeling like a one-man missing persons bureau, I finally narrowed it down to Des O'Connor.
"But he's not Irish," I protested, not meaning any disloyalty to Des.
"Well, he's Scouse Irish, anyway."
A bit more of this and I was beginning to bubble in the back. Would the heel of my shoe be solid enough actually to break one of his rear windows? He decided to placate me yet again.
"I suppose I'm entitled to say this sort of thing. You see, I'm tainted with Irish blood myself."
Even that glimmer of brotherhood didn't last long. The voice hit the windscreen and came back past my ear.
"Though I suppose that must be all gone by now!"