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By Bernard Wall
The Anti-Brazilian Book Club
"The object of this book dub," ran the manifesto advertising the most novel of all conunercial enterprises," is to provide the intelligent British reader once a month with information which will enable him to struggle for world peace. progress, socialism, and to fight against Brazilians."
ROM the outset this new book club was a huge success. Thousands upon thousands of thinking men and
women rushed to be enrolled. In addition to a splendidly bound book, members got a copy of the Anti-Brazilian News, editect in the office, which gave all the latest news from intellectuals all over the world who were struggling against Brazilians. The titles of the first hooks gave testimony to the high standard of reading matter they were to contain: Brazilians are Bombers was one of the most successful.
Brazil means War was another.
The Collapse of Brazilian Industry gave an account with statistics of how Brazil had no raw materials and also showed that wherever Brazilians had to do with an industry, that industry declined.
For The Plain Man, Too
Not all the books, however, were such difficult reading as these; and others were advertised of appeal to a much wider pub lic though of definite anti-Brazilian in teaest Teius, for instance, there was an account. of Shackleton discovering the NOrth Pole : and, while being as exciting as any detective story, it pointed out to readers that Shackleton wasn't a Brazilian and we could thank the nature of things for that because if he had been a Brazilian the North Pole would never have been discovered. There were also some adventure stories concerning villainous Brazilian plots and accounts of people escaping front Brazil.
Sweeping English Success
These books were a huge success all over the English world. Englishmen and Englishwomen opened their eyes at least to the Brazilian danger. Intellectuals especially became passionate about it. So much so that it became customary to define an intellectual, as distinct from a common man, as one who was terrified of the Brazilian invasion and subscribed to the anti-Brazilian book club.
The most extraordinary rumours spread from end to end of England. One day a newspaper announced that thirty thousand Brazilians had landed in Ireland and were conquering the country. They were showing the usual " Brazilian frightfulness " and they had already rounded up all the women and children so as to bomb them when their aeroplanes arrived from Brazil. Thousands of telegrams were sent to the Prime Minister urging him to take action immediately. Though it turned out only to be a rumour, many people never forgave the Brazilians afterwards.
Hidden Spies
And private people became frightened out of their wits owing to reading the "not at night" series of the anti-Brazilian book olub.
A scare went round that Brazilians came at night and bid dictaphones in your room where you could never find them.
An English spinster who was a passionate supporter of that anti-Brazilian book club thought she heard Brazilians climbing down her chimney and wrote to the papers about it.
A new and even worse scare developed, and mass meetings were organised to decide what to do if Brazilians came in through the chimneys at night. Resolutions were passed, messages sent, and, as the AntiBrazilian News put it, the scales had fallen from England's eyes.
"For world peace and against Brazil " the slogan of the anti-Brazilian league, was festooned on houses. Many people made their contribution to world peace by refusing to cat Brazil nuts. " Every Brazil nut you cat means a bullet for Brazilian aggressors," said a notice.
Racial Tie With Nippon
Finally the excitement about Brazil, fanned up by the anti-Brazilian book club, became a genuine folly. People saw Brazilians everywhere. They said Brazilians had caused the Spanish war, and all General Franco's troops were disguised Brazilians. They said the Japanese were closely allied by race to the Brazilians. And they said happiness could not be possible as long as there was a Brazilian left on the face of the globe.
And nobody knows how it will end.